Text: Colossians 3:18-4:1 (NKJV)
18 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. 20 Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
22 Bondservants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh, not with eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but in sincerity of heart, fearing God. 23 And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, 24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ. 25 But he who does wrong will be repaid for what he has done, and there is no partiality. 4:1 Masters, give your bondservants what is just and fair, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.
Devotional Thoughts and Commentary:
In our post-modern Western society, the roles of men and women have become heavily politicized. In the quest for equality and political correctness, all gender distinctions have supposedly been thrown aside (although it has created a new sexism, really). Any group that sees distinctions in role is seen as backward and oppressive toward women; in fact, this is one of the leading arguments against Christianity as a religion for today among liberal theologians. If one is to accept the Bible as God's Word (thus, authoritative) and accurate, then it must be interpreted literally for its intended audience and purpose. We cannot deny the fact that the Bible, specifically the New Testament here, talks about such differentiation. Sadly, this has resulted in Christians being embarrassed (see Romans 1:16 and 2 Timothy 2:15) about the topic and doing their best to avoid it. Anything God's Word has said is never something which we are to be embarrassed about, and all topics in it are healthy for discussion. What has happened is a politicizing of God's Word that has failed to properly interpret and understand what it says on this touchy topic. I hope for us to explore what God's Word actually says about it here and how that teaching applies to today.
Verses 18-19 are often taken with a grain of salt, but they should not be. "CHAUVINISM!!!" you might cry. I, however, disagree. Life is about balance, and this area is no different. Straightforward, wives are commanded to submit to their husbands, and husbands are commanded to love their wives. This is often seen as a skewed relationship proposed by God that results in the oppression of women. I do agree that it has been used to justify such oppression by errant individuals, but that is not what God is teaching. A parallel passage in Ephesians 5:22-30 echoes these same sentiments. So, how does this teaching fit into our cosmopolitan society? Well, within the context of a marriage, God has here given each partner assignments that are in general uniquely difficult to the assigned party. For a wife to submit does not mean that she has to walk around in a burqa; to stay at home all day cooking, cleaning, and raising kids; nor does it void her free will, right to free speech, or make her wants/opinions worthless. Rather, the idea of submission means that she defers to her husband's authority to make decisions. God has placed men as an authority over women for His reasons and by His choice (Ephesians 5:23 and 1 Timothy 2:12-14). This action on the behalf of a wife requires total trust and opens up all her vulnerabilities. THAT is why the husband is commanded to love his wife. This love must go so far as Jesus's love went for His church - total and complete (Ephesians 5:25). This results in deferment to the wife. "So, both sides are deferring to each other?" you think. Yes- exactly. Wives defer to the authority of their husband, and husbands defer to wives out of love. Both sides open themselves up for abuse from the other, but abuse is not the expectation from God- a balanced, loving relationship is. Let me explain how this might flesh out in real life decisions. A husband has the authority to decide where he will take his family to eat for dinner, but he defers to his wife's taste for seafood even though he doesn't really care for it. He is actually bound to express his love for her in this way. In every single decision, he doesn't have to do what she wants, but he must put her ahead of himself. Next, consider a couple that is having a disagreement over where to go to church. They "argue," or let's call it sharing their thoughts with each other, and have come to an impasse. It is the husband's responsibility as the God-appointed leader to make that decision. He doesn't not lord it over his wife, and he considers her wants and needs in the decision; however, it is ultimately his decision. Now, having the authority still sounds like the favorable of the two positions in such a balanced relationship, but consider that the head of the house is going to be held responsible by God for the decisions made (Hebrews 13:17).
Moving on, children need to obey their parents. FYI, this doesn't come naturally. As Pastor Jeremy Van Delinder puts it, all children are born pagans. It is true, because we are all born sinners.
This passage is often at the center of controversy over masters and slaves. I am not going to go over the topic again here, but you can read about it as was discussed in Philemon.
Ultimately, the principle in the passage is this- no matter what your position in a relationship, remember that your actions in that are first service to the Lord Jesus and He is the one from whom we are rewarded for righteous behavior.
Application(s):
Foster Godly, balanced relationships in your life according to what God has said. This might require some MAJOR life changes, but there is no time like the present to start living for the Lord. I also understand that relationships go two ways. Talk it over with the other side of your relationship, but remember that their unwillingness to obey God does not negate your responsibility.
Conduct yourself in every way and every situation as if you were relating to Jesus Christ before any other. This will revolutionize the way you interact with people.
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